Auld Lang Syne Time. A time to party hearty? Perhaps. A time for reflection? For me, definitely.
When 2010 began, I was already deeply immersed in Peter's book, "You Can't Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought" which has helped change my life with thunderous force. This was my introduction to Peter McWilliams. And I haven't been the same, since.
The very first thing I read about Peter was the Wikipedia article about him. Who was this great writer, I wondered? I wanted to write Peter to thank him. Alas, the first line of this article stunned, shocked and saddened me: "Peter McWilliams WAS......." I stumbled through this sad sentence. My heart could go no further. I felt as if I had lost someone so achingly close to me. I began sobbing my eyes out. I was so angry that one with a brain so brilliant, and a heart so happy, and a life so lively, could be dead so young, so terribly and tragically.
It was in that moment, when I first saw Peter's photo, and that impish grin of his, decked out in a swanky suit...Within that hurried heartbeat, I felt this overwhelming desire to do something, anything, to honour this man.
On January 3rd, Peter's Page on Myspace was born. Surely, not everyone was thrilled with my desire to remember Peter, but those people are so few and far in between and not worth dwelling upon. So, I forged forward, and resolved never to give up in my quest to honour Peter.
I hungered for any information that I could find. I combed every nook and cranny of Google.. sweetly stumbling upon the marvelous, beautifully blunt and brilliant Paul Krassner, who from the very beginning, showed me encouragement, support and humour. I could see why Peter was so taken with Paul's writings. Also, Peter's longtime friend and co-writer Harold Bloomfield, kindly granted me a fairly extensive interview about Peter, his own demons which he battled with dignity...also I re-posted pieces by Harry S. Browne, William F. Buckley (both, may they rest in peace), and also pieces by fans along the likes of the lovable and talented Rocky Frisco, who had written his own tribute; Brian Wright, who has written many a blog about Peter and who has shown me so much encouragement through it all.. and also the musings of Rogier van Bakel who posted a most excellent tribute to Peter by naming his own blog "Ain't Nobody's Business.." And of course, the award-winning writer, Jennifer Brown Banks, who shares my giddy crush on Peter. Always a kind word she gives. There are other wonderful writers who have allowed me to re-post their Peter pieces; who have accepted me, and I am so grateful for all of their creative input, and kindnesses. I don't want to leave anyone out so no one is-all are thanked profusely on Peter's Page Myspace.
Peter's Page became one of the most searched sites for Peter, on Google, consistently in the top 7 for 2010. I put a lot of energy and heart into the page. This Fall, Peter's Page Facebook was born. And the daily quote page, which has helped brighten peoples' lives, I am told!
A blog, began here, to honour Peter, and a Youtube site,
as well which will soon be home to a special video tribute honouring Peter's life, bravery and works. And for those who don't already feel "Peter'ed out" yet, I wrote, "Still: A Prayer for Peter McWilliams" which is slowly but surely garnering airplay in the US and Canada. The message is simple. Educate people about Peter through song! I am very grateful to the amazing dj's that keep spinning "Still." You all know who you are because I thank you all the time. :)
I've met so many beautiful fans of Peter, too. People like giving me nicknames and the ones I have been dubbed that I love the most are: "Peter's Biographer" (thanks, Glenn!); "The Curator of the Peter McWilliams Museum (thanks Steve!) and my personal favourite, "Peter's Angel" (thanks Dave and Raj!)
Amazing when I think, this all began with a Wikipedia article about Peter. Through my tears. And at the end of 2010, all the Peter Pages I've begun are now mentioned in the same article...it's come full circle.
I am grateful for every single moment 2010 has brought. I'd like to think of 2010 as being a brilliant Renaissance; a McWilliams Movement; a Renewed Interest in all things Peter.
My goal is to help preserve, protect and promote Peter's legacy and life. And to those lovely hearts who feel I'm doing well in this endeavour, I thank you. Your passion will always propel mine.
I love Peter. And I love you.
~Julia
my blog dedicated to Peter McWilliams
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
The Moon and Me
Alone, I shivered, scoping the star-swept skies for signs of change. My eyes settled upon the prize.
The moon stood above me, and I felt comforted within her cocoon of silky softness.
I stood outside at a ridiculous hour to view the lunar eclipse. The last time a full lunar eclipse happened was over four hundred years ago. I didn't want to miss this one.
My neck started to speak to me; since the accident the pain has come and gone but at this inconvenient moment, the pain spoke to me with resounding force. It was then I chose not to let the pain win. I wanted this moment, and I wanted it to myself. I could not really look up at the moon very much because it hurt too much. So I ended up lying down on the cold ground with a good pair of binoculars and some calming cocoa.
Peter talks about expanding our comfort zones; and sometimes that it all might be uncomfortable. This certainly was, but I knew my discomfort was nothing compared to what I was about to witness. We have the rest of our lives to spend slumbering, why not be awake now in this moment?
I felt a little lonely. I wished I had a special one to whom I could snuggle with, closely. Someone to watch this with. But then I thought about the lessons of Peter's LOVE 101. I did not truly need someone there to be with, for I had myself. But how could I truly be lonely? The serene stars surrounding me were my friends. The sultry wind was my friend. The moon was my friend. And I knew somewhere on the brightest side of Heaven, Peter must have been watching the eclipse too. I wasn't alone at all.
I realized how lucky I was to experience this. No neighbours around for they were all slumbering sweetly in their beds. Too drowsy to delight in this spectacle. And I had this night all to myself! I owned the night.
A dark spec of charcoal swept across the Moon. Bit by bit, this charcoal colour swallowed the Moon. One tiny sliver of white light prevailed, until the Moon became crowned in crimson! What a spectacle. It stirred my senses.
My neck began speaking again. When the pain got to be too much, I thought of those who do not have the vision to see such a thing. I thought of those who are too much in pain to be able to walk outside and view such a thing. And I thought of all those cozy couples-cozy, content, but asleep and missing such a masterpiece. No dazzling ring a man could slip on my finger could ever compare to the dazzling ring around this moon! I was not lonely after all.
The joy of watching this, and sharing this experience with myself was enough. Because of Peter's writings I am learning that just me is enough. Just the moon and me.
Thank you Peter.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Peter's Words are Everywhere, Even in the Dentist's Chair!
Not one person I know ever happily exclaims, "Oh boy! I get to visit the dentist today." I have always been one of those people who cowardly cringe beneath the dentist's tools.
For those of you who don't know what "TMJ" is, well, some of us happen to grind our teeth at night. In my case I clench for dear life. Over time, that grinding causes teeth to crack, chip, not to mention your jaw might feel like some football player just head-butted you. Holistically I have tried to release my symptoms of TMJ, but just like those who need anti-depressants for depression, alas, I need, the (cue music, please) NIGHT GUARD.
I had to be fitted for one. The last time I tried this, the assistant left the room after she jammed this huge blockade of gummy gooey concrete-ish slop into my mouth. I was told to bite down and not move. And then, she left! I couldn't breathe. I felt like I was suffocating. My God, I was going to swim in my own saliva! She left the room for God knows how long, and later that day called me to tell me we had to do it again because I "moved" too much. After this wonderful experience, my comfort zone had shrunk, the size of tiny tooth floss! I was so scared. I'd rather grind my teeth to dust than to return.
(I know some of you are thinking, big deal, but those who have gone through it, totally know what I am talking about, and it is a big deal for us!)
But thanks to reading loads of Peterisms, I was finally able to return today. I chose another dentist and dental assistant. I even quoted Peter to the dentist beforehand, "Fear is something to be moved through, not to turn from" and he laughed, a knowing laugh. And even though a couple of times I gagged, and felt like I was going to beckon my breakfast, I made it through! (And besides I had a much nicer assistant who stayed with me the whole time.) I chose not to focus on this crazy clamp. Instead I chose focus upon the golden and crimson trees, the softest coolest blue sky, outside the window. You know, focus on what's right with your surroundings, as Peter wrote about. So I did. Even as I was drooling all over this monster mouth piece until they were able to make impressions of my teeth and pry the peel out of my mouth. And it went faster! And I was proud of myself!
Expanding those comfort zones one molar at a time!
...Then I was having my teeth cleaned, and the hygienist was telling me why she no longer bike rides. She had noticed I had biked to the appointment. I listened as she told me why she gave up her dreams of biking. She said it was because some woman got attacked, near her neighborhood. And she hates riding on the bike trail because weird men used to leer at her.
I thought to myself, wow, talk about shrinking comfort zones. If I ever quit riding just because someone got attacked near where I ride, I would be letting the fear win. "Weird" men leer at me all the time, but that will never stop me from biking. As I flew down the hill at 3o miles an hour I felt bad for her because I wanted her to fly again too. I felt so thankful..thankful that I had expanded my comfort zone, faced the fear again- and that even if I died biking, I would die happy, so what really is there to fear?
Goes to show you can apply Peter's words here, there, and even in the dentist's chair!
For those of you who don't know what "TMJ" is, well, some of us happen to grind our teeth at night. In my case I clench for dear life. Over time, that grinding causes teeth to crack, chip, not to mention your jaw might feel like some football player just head-butted you. Holistically I have tried to release my symptoms of TMJ, but just like those who need anti-depressants for depression, alas, I need, the (cue music, please) NIGHT GUARD.
I had to be fitted for one. The last time I tried this, the assistant left the room after she jammed this huge blockade of gummy gooey concrete-ish slop into my mouth. I was told to bite down and not move. And then, she left! I couldn't breathe. I felt like I was suffocating. My God, I was going to swim in my own saliva! She left the room for God knows how long, and later that day called me to tell me we had to do it again because I "moved" too much. After this wonderful experience, my comfort zone had shrunk, the size of tiny tooth floss! I was so scared. I'd rather grind my teeth to dust than to return.
(I know some of you are thinking, big deal, but those who have gone through it, totally know what I am talking about, and it is a big deal for us!)
But thanks to reading loads of Peterisms, I was finally able to return today. I chose another dentist and dental assistant. I even quoted Peter to the dentist beforehand, "Fear is something to be moved through, not to turn from" and he laughed, a knowing laugh. And even though a couple of times I gagged, and felt like I was going to beckon my breakfast, I made it through! (And besides I had a much nicer assistant who stayed with me the whole time.) I chose not to focus on this crazy clamp. Instead I chose focus upon the golden and crimson trees, the softest coolest blue sky, outside the window. You know, focus on what's right with your surroundings, as Peter wrote about. So I did. Even as I was drooling all over this monster mouth piece until they were able to make impressions of my teeth and pry the peel out of my mouth. And it went faster! And I was proud of myself!
Expanding those comfort zones one molar at a time!
...Then I was having my teeth cleaned, and the hygienist was telling me why she no longer bike rides. She had noticed I had biked to the appointment. I listened as she told me why she gave up her dreams of biking. She said it was because some woman got attacked, near her neighborhood. And she hates riding on the bike trail because weird men used to leer at her.
I thought to myself, wow, talk about shrinking comfort zones. If I ever quit riding just because someone got attacked near where I ride, I would be letting the fear win. "Weird" men leer at me all the time, but that will never stop me from biking. As I flew down the hill at 3o miles an hour I felt bad for her because I wanted her to fly again too. I felt so thankful..thankful that I had expanded my comfort zone, faced the fear again- and that even if I died biking, I would die happy, so what really is there to fear?
Goes to show you can apply Peter's words here, there, and even in the dentist's chair!
Monday, October 25, 2010
To Peter on His 61st Birthday (originally posted August 5th of this year)
To Peter on his 61st Birthday
August 5, 2010
Dear Peter,
Today you would have turned sixty-one years old. You lived quite a life.
You were like a vibrant pebble dancing across the water, creating bigger and bigger ripples across the pond, reaching out to more and more hurting and helpless souls who yearn for wisdom and warmth.
I'm trying so hard not to be sad that I never got the chance to meet or know you and that I knew of your existence a little too late. I feel I am failing at this endeavor.
I have the deepest feeling that wherever you are today, you are pain-free, serene, and laughing that generous laugh of yours.
People still love you Peter, they still care about you and they still apply your advice, breathe in your poetry, and cling to your causes that you held so dearly to your heart.
I'm just a young woman in the sea of so many people who have been swept away by the sands of your humanity and humble genius.
Awhile ago, I asked you to be my Guardian Angel. (What a challenge). I feel that you are watching over all of those whom you loved, and still do love.
Thank you Peter for so much. Happy Birthday wherever you may be.
I love you.
Dear Peter,
Today you would have turned sixty-one years old. You lived quite a life.
You were like a vibrant pebble dancing across the water, creating bigger and bigger ripples across the pond, reaching out to more and more hurting and helpless souls who yearn for wisdom and warmth.
I'm trying so hard not to be sad that I never got the chance to meet or know you and that I knew of your existence a little too late. I feel I am failing at this endeavor.
I have the deepest feeling that wherever you are today, you are pain-free, serene, and laughing that generous laugh of yours.
People still love you Peter, they still care about you and they still apply your advice, breathe in your poetry, and cling to your causes that you held so dearly to your heart.
I'm just a young woman in the sea of so many people who have been swept away by the sands of your humanity and humble genius.
Awhile ago, I asked you to be my Guardian Angel. (What a challenge). I feel that you are watching over all of those whom you loved, and still do love.
Thank you Peter for so much. Happy Birthday wherever you may be.
I love you.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Pre-Peter vs. Post-Peter
Pre-Peter vs. Post Peter
Pre-Peter, (or, before I discovered Peter's works), I battled chronic depression. I rarely tuned in to my own thoughts which could cripple me. What a negatron I was! Peter mentioned in his writings that he was a recovering negaholic, well I think I even had him beat.
I had visited a couple of well-meaning therapists who, bless their clueless hearts, were unable to help my helpless self. When I dove into my darkest of days, I’d scarf down some chocolate in order to desperately savor some much-needed sweetness in my life. Or, I would starve myself. Never felt worthy. Never felt pretty. The one serious boyfriend I ever had, horribly mistreated me, and I never understood all the while that I had allowed it.
Well-meaning and frustrated friends of mine would try so hard to convince me to escape this relationship, but I never listened. He left, out of his own commitment-phobia, and Peter's poetry was there to pick up the pieces of my helpless heart.
I had tried one or two "self-help" books before. Perhaps I wasn't ready to hear the message. Perhaps the author did not move me. His or her points were too muzzy for my fuzzy brain. Whatever the reason, I stayed a prisoner of my own depression.
It's amazing what a little blue book could do. Last December, You Can't Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought by Peter McWilliams burst into my life, like a sizzling comet, and I have never been the same since.
This year, I had re-united with family who never even knew I existed. I was so thrilled. I had waited all my life for this, with such high expectations which unfortunately were dashed. Pre-Peter I would have been devastated, crushed, dead inside. But since taking his advice, like avoiding people and situations that upset me, I am learning that I am better off without those empty connections and I do not allow their sour judgments of me to rob me of the pride I have in myself. If I am not accepted, I no longer beg people to like me. I simply move through and move on. Sure, I still get upset, but the level of upsetness is so much less.
All my life I craved father figures, family figures, because I felt such a void. But Peter's words helped soothe that ache. He taught me to be my own family unto my own self. (And getting to know Peter’s Mom means so much to me. I truly feel like she’s my family. She has shown me unconditional love that I never before experienced.)
I still have days where I might feel down, but those moments of being down are no longer mountains, just moments!
I am learning to be grateful everyday for simple things. I rather religiously keep a "Book of Good" (mentioned here in previous post). I especially keep this book when days seem stressful. I find this has helped my attitude immensely!
Pre-Peter, I was always getting injured. As an amateur athlete, I had weak ankles, a throbbing knee injury, I was one sloppy mess. My doctor claimed I could never run too far, because I simply wasn't "built for it." I created, allowed and promoted (as Peter calls “CPA”) each injury. I didn't believe in myself. But, through Peter's words, they inspired me so much that I went from running a couple of miles to running a full Marathon, safely! All on my own-no fancy trainer, no expensive gym. All me, while Peter's philosophies danced through my head!
Pre-Peter, my world was a whirlwind of dark drama. Post-Peter, my life has been forever changed.
A man I never got to meet has helped change my life in a way I never thought possible. So when people ask me why I spend so much time writing about a man I never got to meet, I know in my heart, in my own way, I’ve already met him.
I love you, Peter.
Pre-Peter, (or, before I discovered Peter's works), I battled chronic depression. I rarely tuned in to my own thoughts which could cripple me. What a negatron I was! Peter mentioned in his writings that he was a recovering negaholic, well I think I even had him beat.
I had visited a couple of well-meaning therapists who, bless their clueless hearts, were unable to help my helpless self. When I dove into my darkest of days, I’d scarf down some chocolate in order to desperately savor some much-needed sweetness in my life. Or, I would starve myself. Never felt worthy. Never felt pretty. The one serious boyfriend I ever had, horribly mistreated me, and I never understood all the while that I had allowed it.
Well-meaning and frustrated friends of mine would try so hard to convince me to escape this relationship, but I never listened. He left, out of his own commitment-phobia, and Peter's poetry was there to pick up the pieces of my helpless heart.
I had tried one or two "self-help" books before. Perhaps I wasn't ready to hear the message. Perhaps the author did not move me. His or her points were too muzzy for my fuzzy brain. Whatever the reason, I stayed a prisoner of my own depression.
It's amazing what a little blue book could do. Last December, You Can't Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought by Peter McWilliams burst into my life, like a sizzling comet, and I have never been the same since.
This year, I had re-united with family who never even knew I existed. I was so thrilled. I had waited all my life for this, with such high expectations which unfortunately were dashed. Pre-Peter I would have been devastated, crushed, dead inside. But since taking his advice, like avoiding people and situations that upset me, I am learning that I am better off without those empty connections and I do not allow their sour judgments of me to rob me of the pride I have in myself. If I am not accepted, I no longer beg people to like me. I simply move through and move on. Sure, I still get upset, but the level of upsetness is so much less.
All my life I craved father figures, family figures, because I felt such a void. But Peter's words helped soothe that ache. He taught me to be my own family unto my own self. (And getting to know Peter’s Mom means so much to me. I truly feel like she’s my family. She has shown me unconditional love that I never before experienced.)
I still have days where I might feel down, but those moments of being down are no longer mountains, just moments!
I am learning to be grateful everyday for simple things. I rather religiously keep a "Book of Good" (mentioned here in previous post). I especially keep this book when days seem stressful. I find this has helped my attitude immensely!
Pre-Peter, I was always getting injured. As an amateur athlete, I had weak ankles, a throbbing knee injury, I was one sloppy mess. My doctor claimed I could never run too far, because I simply wasn't "built for it." I created, allowed and promoted (as Peter calls “CPA”) each injury. I didn't believe in myself. But, through Peter's words, they inspired me so much that I went from running a couple of miles to running a full Marathon, safely! All on my own-no fancy trainer, no expensive gym. All me, while Peter's philosophies danced through my head!
Pre-Peter, my world was a whirlwind of dark drama. Post-Peter, my life has been forever changed.
A man I never got to meet has helped change my life in a way I never thought possible. So when people ask me why I spend so much time writing about a man I never got to meet, I know in my heart, in my own way, I’ve already met him.
I love you, Peter.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Peter's Advice: "Write Down the Good!" An attitude of gratitude...... :)
You Can't Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought is one of my favourite books of all time. There are so many poignant points packed into each page, here is just one.
On page 181, Peter advises us to Write Down the Good. Keep a journal...the good things you have to be grateful for each day, and the good that you do for others.
This one piece of advice has transformed my everyday life in so many ways. Here's the real challenge, at least for me! Write down a list ESPECIALLY when you're down, angry, stressed. It's so easy to be thankful when our days unfold before us like ruby roses. But on darker days, this depression buster really works for me. I always tell myself five things down a day since it's much more manageable. Then I find that it's easy to keep going! When I ride in a car, along with my friends, I ask them what five things they are grateful for on that day. At first, they wanted to clobber me for being such a well-spring of bubbling positivity. I also noticed it took forever for them to come up with things. But not anymore.
Since I hope I walk the walk, here is my list for today. It's a little bit verbose. :)
1. Riding my bicycle last night, underneath the glowing moon..riding down that huge hill at 30 mph, felt like I had wings.
2. Peter's Mom's phone call. Whenever she calls, it's a combination of Spring/Summer/Fall, all rolled into one. I leave out Winter because she's never cold.
3. Calling up the corporate headquarters of a company to commend a couple of their employees, and even the woman who answered the phone. :)
4. The fact that in this horrid economy, I have a job, a good one, that I get to do, my music, and I can help to help peoples' days brighten a little.
5. The pizza that Andy made, it was so scrumptious! MMMMM!
6. Ran a marathon on Sunday! :) Even when doctors told me I couldn't!
7. The support I get from my online friends
So what is your list? Feel free to share if you'd like :) Or just jot it down to yourself. Either way, try it, and I hope it works for you as well as it has for me!
Thank you Peter McWilliams!
note: "You Can't Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought" is still available, in print, and AWESOME! :)
On page 181, Peter advises us to Write Down the Good. Keep a journal...the good things you have to be grateful for each day, and the good that you do for others.
This one piece of advice has transformed my everyday life in so many ways. Here's the real challenge, at least for me! Write down a list ESPECIALLY when you're down, angry, stressed. It's so easy to be thankful when our days unfold before us like ruby roses. But on darker days, this depression buster really works for me. I always tell myself five things down a day since it's much more manageable. Then I find that it's easy to keep going! When I ride in a car, along with my friends, I ask them what five things they are grateful for on that day. At first, they wanted to clobber me for being such a well-spring of bubbling positivity. I also noticed it took forever for them to come up with things. But not anymore.
Since I hope I walk the walk, here is my list for today. It's a little bit verbose. :)
1. Riding my bicycle last night, underneath the glowing moon..riding down that huge hill at 30 mph, felt like I had wings.
2. Peter's Mom's phone call. Whenever she calls, it's a combination of Spring/Summer/Fall, all rolled into one. I leave out Winter because she's never cold.
3. Calling up the corporate headquarters of a company to commend a couple of their employees, and even the woman who answered the phone. :)
4. The fact that in this horrid economy, I have a job, a good one, that I get to do, my music, and I can help to help peoples' days brighten a little.
5. The pizza that Andy made, it was so scrumptious! MMMMM!
6. Ran a marathon on Sunday! :) Even when doctors told me I couldn't!
7. The support I get from my online friends
So what is your list? Feel free to share if you'd like :) Or just jot it down to yourself. Either way, try it, and I hope it works for you as well as it has for me!
Thank you Peter McWilliams!
note: "You Can't Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought" is still available, in print, and AWESOME! :)
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Guest Blogger: J. Charles: Musings on Peter's Poetry, from "Come Love With Me and Be My Life" (part 1)
I admit, I'm a little perplexed that Peter didn't give any of his poems titles. So I will just refer to page numbers instead. This will be my first installment about "Come Love with Me and Be My Life, The Complete Romantic Poetry of Peter McWilliams." This book is still in print & available.
Page 1
He seems to be anticipating love, asking the question: "How will it happen?" Peter speaks of "pre-pairing." Clever play on words. I think sometimes you just have to let it happen.
Page 4
The poem below, reads like a "come-on" of sorts, at a first meeting. The very last line of the poem is "What's your name?"
"Someday we are going to be lovers.
Maybe married.
At the very least, an affair.
What's your name?
Page 5
"I am not a total stranger, I am a perfect stranger." That really does seem like a line (LOL!)
Page 6
This poem seems to be about the first love of Peter's life, perhaps.
Page 7
Seems to be Peter's playful musings about what someone says.."I feel an affinity for you" rather than to say "I love you." The last line adds, "On the first date." Who says "I love you" on the first date? Hmmmmmmm???
Page 8
This poem speaks of unrequited love and sadness. Though the last line was "All I got was this poem, which I wanted to be / a happy one."
I really like Peter's Poetry because it's so thought provoking.
Page 10
He questions whether he was meant to be alone. "Is there / someone / in the darkness / asking / the same question?" That seems to be asking, "Where's my soulmate?" :-)
Page 11
Risk and Positivity and positivity in taking risk when sometimes we approach risk with fear and trepidation. Expanding comfort zones!!
Page 12
Self doubt. "AM I TOO MUCH FOR YOU or too little?"
Page 13
Sounds like Peter's being lifted out of depression by a good friend. Sounds like quite a friend to have.
So many of these poems are very personal in nature, as if he's simply talking to the object of his affection.
Page 14
"What's a kiss between friends? / What is a friend between kisses?"
Clever word play. Perhaps friends with benefits? :)
Page 15
"Want me /and let me know/ you do"
The height of directness.
All his poetry seems to get directly to the point to what he's trying to say, some just sound clever in their word play. In the final analysis Peter's poems to me, are entertaining and provocative.
More later.
Page 1
He seems to be anticipating love, asking the question: "How will it happen?" Peter speaks of "pre-pairing." Clever play on words. I think sometimes you just have to let it happen.
Page 4
The poem below, reads like a "come-on" of sorts, at a first meeting. The very last line of the poem is "What's your name?"
"Someday we are going to be lovers.
Maybe married.
At the very least, an affair.
What's your name?
Page 5
"I am not a total stranger, I am a perfect stranger." That really does seem like a line (LOL!)
Page 6
This poem seems to be about the first love of Peter's life, perhaps.
Page 7
Seems to be Peter's playful musings about what someone says.."I feel an affinity for you" rather than to say "I love you." The last line adds, "On the first date." Who says "I love you" on the first date? Hmmmmmmm???
Page 8
This poem speaks of unrequited love and sadness. Though the last line was "All I got was this poem, which I wanted to be / a happy one."
I really like Peter's Poetry because it's so thought provoking.
Page 10
He questions whether he was meant to be alone. "Is there / someone / in the darkness / asking / the same question?" That seems to be asking, "Where's my soulmate?" :-)
Page 11
Risk and Positivity and positivity in taking risk when sometimes we approach risk with fear and trepidation. Expanding comfort zones!!
Page 12
Self doubt. "AM I TOO MUCH FOR YOU or too little?"
Page 13
Sounds like Peter's being lifted out of depression by a good friend. Sounds like quite a friend to have.
So many of these poems are very personal in nature, as if he's simply talking to the object of his affection.
Page 14
"What's a kiss between friends? / What is a friend between kisses?"
Clever word play. Perhaps friends with benefits? :)
Page 15
"Want me /and let me know/ you do"
The height of directness.
All his poetry seems to get directly to the point to what he's trying to say, some just sound clever in their word play. In the final analysis Peter's poems to me, are entertaining and provocative.
More later.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
"Faithing", Peter, and me
Peter's books are amazing, but how can I read while I drive?
(I've seen people try to read while driving, and believe me, it's unsafe and quite cringe-worthy to watch!)
I found a soothing solution. Lately I have been listening to "You Can't Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought" on CD. Peter's quiet confidence has a way of numbing my nerves while the traffic traps me like the tentacles of an octopus!
It's impossible to list all the things I love about this CD series in just one blog. One of Peter's concepts really clicked with me yesterday, and I'd love to share it with you.
Peter calls it faithing. This Peterism describes taking things in stride, knowing that everything will turn out for the best.
I used to live my life frozen in fear. I seemed to do the opposite thing: I always imagined the worst possible scenario happening. When that scenario didn't, I felt relieved, but the relief was fleeting. I'd go on thinking negative, destructive thoughts.
Like so many other Peterisms, I wanted to apply what he taught, not just listen to him spout a string of pretty words.
So, last night, I arrived at a brand new venue where no one had heard me perform my music before.
I set up my musical equipment and no one was there. I noticed I began to think negative thoughts. (This is huge in and of itself-I used to think negatively and not even notice when I did!) I stopped myself, and began faithing. I closed my eyes, and I imagined people being drawn to th strains of my voice. I imagined seats being filled. I imagined a splendid experience.
Surely enough, as I faithed, faithed and faithed some more, the audience appeared like spring roses. They were supportive, attentive and really got what I had to say..(or should I say, sing?) I embraced every single positive thing about this evening: my being alive and healthy. The moon hovering above; the lanterns flickering, couples cuddling, and me, faithing..
(I've seen people try to read while driving, and believe me, it's unsafe and quite cringe-worthy to watch!)
I found a soothing solution. Lately I have been listening to "You Can't Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought" on CD. Peter's quiet confidence has a way of numbing my nerves while the traffic traps me like the tentacles of an octopus!
It's impossible to list all the things I love about this CD series in just one blog. One of Peter's concepts really clicked with me yesterday, and I'd love to share it with you.
Peter calls it faithing. This Peterism describes taking things in stride, knowing that everything will turn out for the best.
I used to live my life frozen in fear. I seemed to do the opposite thing: I always imagined the worst possible scenario happening. When that scenario didn't, I felt relieved, but the relief was fleeting. I'd go on thinking negative, destructive thoughts.
Like so many other Peterisms, I wanted to apply what he taught, not just listen to him spout a string of pretty words.
So, last night, I arrived at a brand new venue where no one had heard me perform my music before.
I set up my musical equipment and no one was there. I noticed I began to think negative thoughts. (This is huge in and of itself-I used to think negatively and not even notice when I did!) I stopped myself, and began faithing. I closed my eyes, and I imagined people being drawn to th strains of my voice. I imagined seats being filled. I imagined a splendid experience.
Surely enough, as I faithed, faithed and faithed some more, the audience appeared like spring roses. They were supportive, attentive and really got what I had to say..(or should I say, sing?) I embraced every single positive thing about this evening: my being alive and healthy. The moon hovering above; the lanterns flickering, couples cuddling, and me, faithing..
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
via Peter's Page on Myspace: Update for those Interested ;)
September 14, 2010 - Tuesday
 |  Current mood: ecstatic Category: Blogging Hope everyone is in strong spirits and doing well. Here are some answers to some questions I've been asked. Q: How is the video tribute for Peter coming along and why can't I view it yet? A: In the process of hopefully being able to use some real live video footage of Peter speaking, in between still shots. Not as easy as it sounds- Remember, this video will have a song accompanying it. There are only a few spaces where this might work. And, I need to find the right footage to do this. I am in the process of getting a VHS tape of Peter's 1989 interview (thanks Mary!!) put onto DVD. I am hoping the videographer can come up with some footage that works. I am also waiting to hear back from a major news network which carried several interviews of Peter. I do hope to obtain their permission! I was able to view one of the interviews (thanks again Mary!) and saw Peter's sparkling sense of humor. Fortunately my videographer, (who does NOT want credit, God knows why, he deserves it!) is open to my ideas. :) He is so amazing. He's with Getty Images. He comes with loads of experience, and a heart of gold too! Q: If the song for Peter is recorded, why can't we hear this now? Why do we have to wait til the video is done? A: I have shared my recording with Peter's Mom and a very tiny group of people (I can count on one hand). The reason I don't go "public" with it yet is because my close friends tell me, it will have far more impact for people to hear the song along with viewing the video. Q: You own petermcwilliams.org now, so why does the site still look the same? A: Yes, it's true, I recently purchased petermcwilliams.org from the former site owner who had it for many years. The reason you don't see any changes yet is because I am working very hard on designing a new site. It's not ready to be published live to the web yet, but I am making some serious headway. I want everything at least close to being done, before you see it. Q: How many sites do you run now for Peter? A: www.myspace.com/petermcwilliamstribute www.petermcwilliamstribute.blogspot.com www.facebook.com/petermcwilliamstribute www.youtube.com/WeRememberPeter People wonder why I devote so much of my time to all things Peter? The answer lies in how dramatically my life has changed for the better, thanks to Peter. I love him and want everyone I meet to know how truly amazing he was and still is. :) Time well spent.... :) |
Friday, September 10, 2010
The Acquisition of PeterMcWilliams.org
Announcing that I have obtained the URL for petermcwilliams.org.
I am in the process of giving the site some much needed updates.
This process will take some time as I am trying my hand at web design. :)
I appreciate all the work that the former site owner did but I must respectfully forge forward.
All for Peter's memory, honor and legacy. Because after all,
I love Peter!
I am in the process of giving the site some much needed updates.
This process will take some time as I am trying my hand at web design. :)
I appreciate all the work that the former site owner did but I must respectfully forge forward.
All for Peter's memory, honor and legacy. Because after all,
I love Peter!
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Peter's View on Society wanting Us to be a Certain Way..and my own reflections
"Please understand that I am not against family, marriage, children, or even romance. I am merely against the idea that we should all be herded into that mode of relating when there are viable, satisfying alternatives" ~ Peter McWilliams
First I'd like to give props to my new friend Bob Stevens for landing this quote in my lap this morning. I was so inspired by this quote I just had to write my reflections about it here.
Everyday and in every little way I am learning something new about what Peter said or did. It's a wondrous discovery.
This quote in particular speaks to me. In fact, it roars!
Society expects that we fit into some neat little shiny box complete with a brilliant bow on top, wrapped up neatly, and sized-up neatly. The 2.2. kids. The two car garage. The house on the hill with the gleaming white picket fence. Medicinal marijuana? Forget about that! Finding natural cures for depression? Why on earth would you want to take them when there are so many wonderful drugs out there with such wonderful side effects (she said, sardonically). You're gay? Well...it's okay for you to have a "union" but "marriage?" Let's save that for the straights. You're fully expected to be a heterosexual living in a very heterosexual world. Oh, you're overweight? Well we need to get you to Jenny Craig immediately! You can't love yourself unless you're a size 4!
As a young, single woman, I am often barraged by the question,"So when will you settle down and find a nice man?" People are very uncomfortable with my telling them I am single by choice. Believe me, for the longest time I felt I wasn't "okay" unless I felt something romantic.
Forget about the part where I tell people I don't want to have kids. They can't understand I am just not a "kid" person. When I see a baby, I run the opposite direction. I don't "dote" on kids. People don't like to hear that from a woman because all women are supposed to be nurturing and motherly. I am motherly towards the homeless, senior citizens and animals. I am just not motherly with kids. Not every woman is, and it's about time society accepts that. I feel it's not selfish to choose not to have kids-I feel it's selfish to have kids and then not want them. There's nothing wrong with women who dote on kids, and are super moms, etc. But please don't look down on me because I'm not like you!
This quote from Peter stirs my soul's insides. His soothing voice speaks to me, telling me I am all right, and I am beautiful, just the way I am. Boxes are for Christmas gifts, not for people to made to be forced inside and suffocate.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
www.mcwilliams.com
Many of Peter's books are still available. If you go to www.mcwilliams.com you'll see the appropriate links to Amazon.com
I prefer ordering through this site, since I prefer having hard copies of books, call me old-fashioned, but that's how I am :)
I prefer ordering through this site, since I prefer having hard copies of books, call me old-fashioned, but that's how I am :)
Thursday, August 26, 2010
The Real St. John's Wort and some REAL ignorance still out there
Last night I struck up a conversation with a man who popped into the coffee shop. Turns out he is a psychiatrist. Out of curiosity I asked him for his opinion of St. John's Wort. The "Real St. John's Wort" are pills I've started taking thanks to How to Heal Depression (McWilliams/Bloomfield). These pills have helped heal my depression which for years I struggled with and for years I was given every kind of pill you could imagine. Nothing worked, until Peter's words and St. John's Wort.
I asked him out of sheer enthusiasm for these "joy pills" as Peter described them brilliantly as being. I asked him expecting him to respond just as enthusiastically. Instead I was greeted with a bizarre and infuriating answer.
He told me that the patients who respond positively to St. John's-he will place on Prozac!
Where is the sense in that? You are going to take a patient off a joy pill that works and load them up on Prozac?
Yes it's true, I will not criticize any person for using traditional medicine to cure anything that ails them. Peter used traditional meds for his depression, and it worked for him, I was told. Peter also used the "combination cocktail" that doctors gave him for his dis-eases. Sometimes you just need those type of meds.
However, for the medical community (not all, but a majority it seems) to criticize anyone for going the natural route strikes me as being archaic, asinine and just plain ignorant!
His argument was not all Wort is the made the same.
He is right. That argument is made in "How to Heal Depression," co-authored by Peter. (More to come on that beautiful book soon...)
However, "The Real St. John's Wort" is heads and shoulders above other Wort I have taken.
In the past I was forced to a whole concoction of "Zombie Sauce" as I called the medicine. I was told at a very young age I'd be pill-popping til I died. I chose not to accept this after being a guinea pig to several clueless quacks.
"The Real St. John's Wort" combined with vitamin B, SAM-E and exercise has been least costly, and least costly to my spirit and energy levels than any traditional drugs.
Note: I strongly urge you to share this blog with anyone who battles/suffers from depression. Please have them call 1-800-LIFE-101 and ask for the "Real St. John's Wort." It's affordable and amazing.
And I should know....because normally after a conversation like that, I'd leave feeling depressed...but now that I'm on "Joy Pills" I'm too happy to be sad!!
I asked him out of sheer enthusiasm for these "joy pills" as Peter described them brilliantly as being. I asked him expecting him to respond just as enthusiastically. Instead I was greeted with a bizarre and infuriating answer.
He told me that the patients who respond positively to St. John's-he will place on Prozac!
Where is the sense in that? You are going to take a patient off a joy pill that works and load them up on Prozac?
Yes it's true, I will not criticize any person for using traditional medicine to cure anything that ails them. Peter used traditional meds for his depression, and it worked for him, I was told. Peter also used the "combination cocktail" that doctors gave him for his dis-eases. Sometimes you just need those type of meds.
However, for the medical community (not all, but a majority it seems) to criticize anyone for going the natural route strikes me as being archaic, asinine and just plain ignorant!
His argument was not all Wort is the made the same.
He is right. That argument is made in "How to Heal Depression," co-authored by Peter. (More to come on that beautiful book soon...)
However, "The Real St. John's Wort" is heads and shoulders above other Wort I have taken.
In the past I was forced to a whole concoction of "Zombie Sauce" as I called the medicine. I was told at a very young age I'd be pill-popping til I died. I chose not to accept this after being a guinea pig to several clueless quacks.
"The Real St. John's Wort" combined with vitamin B, SAM-E and exercise has been least costly, and least costly to my spirit and energy levels than any traditional drugs.
Note: I strongly urge you to share this blog with anyone who battles/suffers from depression. Please have them call 1-800-LIFE-101 and ask for the "Real St. John's Wort." It's affordable and amazing.
And I should know....because normally after a conversation like that, I'd leave feeling depressed...but now that I'm on "Joy Pills" I'm too happy to be sad!!
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Thanks, Spike for the lovely graphics :)
I'd like to thank one of Peter's Page's Friends & "Followers" Spike G. for volunteering his time to help on this project.
As you will see at the top of the page, this is how my song dedicated to Peter will look online and on CD. :)
The photo of Peter I chose is perhaps my favourite of all time. Peter just looks so healthy, so happy, full of energy and exuberance.
I wanted to include "McWilliams.com" and Peter's Page on Myspace URL-but I-Tunes has some policy where they don't allow you to post ANY url or even email address. Quite bewildering if you ask me!
Again thanks Spike-it looks fabulous.
As you will see at the top of the page, this is how my song dedicated to Peter will look online and on CD. :)
The photo of Peter I chose is perhaps my favourite of all time. Peter just looks so healthy, so happy, full of energy and exuberance.
I wanted to include "McWilliams.com" and Peter's Page on Myspace URL-but I-Tunes has some policy where they don't allow you to post ANY url or even email address. Quite bewildering if you ask me!
Again thanks Spike-it looks fabulous.
Monday, August 23, 2010
CPA: Create, Promote, Allow from "You Can't Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought"
I am enjoying the audio CDs of "You Can't Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought" by Peter McWilliams.
(Please visit www.mcwilliams.com for more info)
There is one concept that hit me so hard that I had to listen, re-listen, and yet listen again until I could feel it completely soak in.
It's Peter's concept of CPA.
How it works is whatever negative situation you go through, you ask yourself, what did I do to either create, promote or allow this to happen?
Simple, right? But it can be a challenge. It strips us of the armor of "victim." We no longer can hide in its shadow. We can no longer put 100% blame on the other person, and/or the situation. It's a lot easier to look at the other guy and say, "Look how bad he treated me! What a jerk!" It's a lot harder to look so deeply inside and ask ourselves, "How could I have acted and reacted better to this situation?"
I am looking through times in my life, and for the most part I am able to easily apply the CPA. For example, in my battle with depression: I create the depression by my negative focus/thinking, I promote it by sleeping in instead of running those arduous, hilly four miles. I allow the depression by acting lethargically, allowing it to take hold of my life.
Looking at CPA is not the easiest task. Start small. Analyze the situations which have lesser impact. I am. Soon you'll be able to look at situations differently and perhaps not so negatively.
As for the positive side of CPA,
I'm going to keep creating blogs that help remember him, I'm going to keep promoting his concepts and ideas, and I'm going to continue to allow his good works to marinade inside my jostled brain until I've soaked up all the goodness and can apply them to my own life, heart and brain.
(Please visit www.mcwilliams.com for more info)
There is one concept that hit me so hard that I had to listen, re-listen, and yet listen again until I could feel it completely soak in.
It's Peter's concept of CPA.
Create, Promote, Allow.
How it works is whatever negative situation you go through, you ask yourself, what did I do to either create, promote or allow this to happen?
Simple, right? But it can be a challenge. It strips us of the armor of "victim." We no longer can hide in its shadow. We can no longer put 100% blame on the other person, and/or the situation. It's a lot easier to look at the other guy and say, "Look how bad he treated me! What a jerk!" It's a lot harder to look so deeply inside and ask ourselves, "How could I have acted and reacted better to this situation?"
I am looking through times in my life, and for the most part I am able to easily apply the CPA. For example, in my battle with depression: I create the depression by my negative focus/thinking, I promote it by sleeping in instead of running those arduous, hilly four miles. I allow the depression by acting lethargically, allowing it to take hold of my life.
Looking at CPA is not the easiest task. Start small. Analyze the situations which have lesser impact. I am. Soon you'll be able to look at situations differently and perhaps not so negatively.
As for the positive side of CPA,
I'm going to keep creating blogs that help remember him, I'm going to keep promoting his concepts and ideas, and I'm going to continue to allow his good works to marinade inside my jostled brain until I've soaked up all the goodness and can apply them to my own life, heart and brain.
Friday, August 20, 2010
What is it about Peter McWilliams?
What possesses me to spend so much time ruminating about a man whom I never met? A man who left the world a decade ago. What is it about Peter McWilliams that has me so fascinated and so dedicated to help keep his memory alive?
I had read "How to Survive the Loss of a Love" and fell in love with Peter's poetry. His heartache is so real and raw it reaches out and grabs me every time. It has helped heal my heart and has been tremendous therapy.
Only recently (last December in fact) did I truly discover "You Can't Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought." This book profoundly changed and is still changing the way I think about myself, my life and the world. I am finally beginning to like myself, and I am noticing things are just falling into place, life is "not a struggle, it's a wiggle," just as Peter once wrote.
I'm just beginning to delve into Peter's other works. Everything he has written, I have a tendency fall in love with. I am sure I would have bored Peter to tears for I agree with so many of his viewpoints and he always loved a good debate, I am told.
Peter's work ethic was so inspiring. He was publishing his own poetry books while still in his teens. He was constantly churning out best-sellers. He knew how to market himself
back when we didn't have the conveniences we all take for granted today.
Peter's passionate personality intrigues me. I've learned that he could really roar if he got mad-some say that's a flaw but I say that's true beauty for it shows how much he cared about getting things right.
His struggle with AIDS and Cancer is so heartbreaking, maddening and mystifying to me. The amount of strength and courage he had, the humor he still showed through it all. I know people who whine over paper cuts like it's the end of the world!
Peter's bold battle with the government in not allowing him the precious, healing medicinal marijuana-the one salve that could save his life and help to better digest the "combination cocktail" the Doctors gave him.
There are so many things about Peter that I love. It is true-his words have helped change, heal and save my life. His courage in the face of fear has led me here to remember and always love him.
I had read "How to Survive the Loss of a Love" and fell in love with Peter's poetry. His heartache is so real and raw it reaches out and grabs me every time. It has helped heal my heart and has been tremendous therapy.
Only recently (last December in fact) did I truly discover "You Can't Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought." This book profoundly changed and is still changing the way I think about myself, my life and the world. I am finally beginning to like myself, and I am noticing things are just falling into place, life is "not a struggle, it's a wiggle," just as Peter once wrote.
I'm just beginning to delve into Peter's other works. Everything he has written, I have a tendency fall in love with. I am sure I would have bored Peter to tears for I agree with so many of his viewpoints and he always loved a good debate, I am told.
Peter's work ethic was so inspiring. He was publishing his own poetry books while still in his teens. He was constantly churning out best-sellers. He knew how to market himself
back when we didn't have the conveniences we all take for granted today.
Peter's passionate personality intrigues me. I've learned that he could really roar if he got mad-some say that's a flaw but I say that's true beauty for it shows how much he cared about getting things right.
His struggle with AIDS and Cancer is so heartbreaking, maddening and mystifying to me. The amount of strength and courage he had, the humor he still showed through it all. I know people who whine over paper cuts like it's the end of the world!
Peter's bold battle with the government in not allowing him the precious, healing medicinal marijuana-the one salve that could save his life and help to better digest the "combination cocktail" the Doctors gave him.
There are so many things about Peter that I love. It is true-his words have helped change, heal and save my life. His courage in the face of fear has led me here to remember and always love him.
For Peter McWilliams. For all who love him. For his memory.
Welcome!
I have created this brand new blog in honor and memory of Peter Alexander McWilliams, an amazing person, poet, publisher, author, activist. He left this world ten years ago, but he will never leave our hearts.
This blog is a companion site to my other two pages for Peter:
also known as-affectionately-"Peter's Page"
-and-
Peter's Page, if you're unfamiliar, is a site that is solely dedicated to all things Peter McWilliams. I am constantly updating new blogs on this site, keeping fresh content, etc. I believe Peter deserves that much!
We Remember Peter/You Tube site will be a place that I will host a brand-new video tribute in honor of Peter. This will include all sorts of beautiful photos of Peter, some of his books, and a song I wrote especially for him,
called "Still" (A Prayer for Peter McWilliams).
I decided to create this blog as well, for those friends who might not be on Myspace or YouTube.
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